Summary
Unlike many spiritual, self-help gurus, Kapil Gupta does not believe in prescriptions, how-to’s, self-help, guru’s, mental hacks, psychology, motivation, and the like. He thinks that these things are for those who are not serious. According to Kapil, the Truth is a path away from all fixes, away from all chases. It is for the one who is Serious. It is for the one who is Sincere. This book is for those handful of individuals.
It’s a fairly quick read. It’s laid out in a Q&A format, supposedly with the people the author mentors as he has a coaching business for entrepreneurs, celebrities, etc. The questions are very relatable, with insights sprinkled throughout the book. It is devoid of fluff & cuts through to the topic being addressed. It’s smart, pragmatic & no-nonsense.
Some key highlights:
– If you truly desire something, you will find a way to do it. But the question is do you truly desire it? E.g – You might think you want to be rich. But is that what you really want? Or is it that you think being rich is how you gain respect from peers. So what you are looking for is maybe good human relations.
– Not focusing on self will help you have a good life. Devote yourself something that is not you – it can be science, sports, religion. You should be able to lose yourself into it
– Brings up an interesting point about responsibility. It fits into his world view that right/wrong is an artificial social construct and hence enough motivation to do great things. Responsibility is a societal creation. No one is truly responsible for another. You do not owe your children anything. They do not owe you anything. If you wish to do, then do. If they wish to do, they may also do. That which comes from the heart is natural and satisfying. That which comes from the idea of responsibility is forced, artificial, and often produces resentment and the expectation for reciprocation.
– His take an issues like anger/guilt is interesting. Anger is a weapon that you enjoy using in order to protect your ego and to bolster it. Guilt is protective. It serves as a buffer between you and your feelings of superiority. If you do not allow yourself to feel guilty about being wealthy, your mind tells you that you are insensitive.
– Mindfulness does not bring one to the present, it forces oneself into the present. If you are looking for a way to naturally live in the present moment, mindfulness is not effective because you cannot force yourself to live in the present permanently. If you try to force your mind, it retaliates, and eventually your willpower will wane and the mind will win.
– Instead of trying to “live” a life, one must become life itself. If one devotes the whole of his life to something, he is due for an ultimate boon, and is engaged during the Journey. Devote means to allocate in its entirety. One man might devote his life to conquering anger. Another might devote it to becoming totally free. Another might devote it to a sport. Another might devote it to conquering the mind. Another might devote it to god. The object of devotion is largely irrelevant. So long as it provides man with the intoxication of losing himself. But to devote the whole of oneself to god or to any other endeavor takes one away from oneself. And this is the door to becoming life itself.